I'm alright

After the intense and prolonged debate with my wife about the advantages of having a second child, when it actually happened  except for the initial ‘whoopee’ and ‘YES’, I remained strangely subdued and calm during the entire tenure of pregnancy. This was so not like me. Something seemed wrong with me. I usually tend to get hyper, start planning to the minutest details, ask everyone -  experts and rookies alike, endless questions, run things in my head for hours and days together and drive everyone around me crazy. That’s how I was during my first child. The only obsession for that entire period, was the impending event, nothing else was important. Life revolved around in anticipation of the addition to the family. But nothing this time, no effervescence , totally flat. It did not seem to be the be all and end all of my life this time around. Maybe that’s what one would call – EXPERIENCE. Been there and done that, so no big deal. 

But then there was another nagging thought, I believe despite all denials parents do tend to play favorites. Will my second one always play second fiddle to my first one, stacked up against the first one all the time ? Will my first one always be the apple of my eye ? Was I already wired to play favorites and hence the restraint?

 
And then when I was handed my second baby and held her in my arms, it all came back to me, one big rush. The madness is back. I am going to be alright.